Hoo boy. This word has been kicking my butt these past few months. COURAGEOUS was the word I chose, in case you missed it. So much has happened lately, and I’ve really needed to dig deep and get things done. This word is pushing me on.
I’ve made appts and gone to personal therapy (and continue to go).
I’ve made appts and gone to marriage counseling (and continue to go).
I’ve signed the kids up for summer sports again (ugh).
I’ve made and taken the kids to so many appts I don’t remember what was done or who was seen (but it’s written down somewhere I think.)
I’ve sought out other moms and made plans with them.
I started reading non-fiction books (normally I read YA paranormal books).
I went out to a bar (technically two) and stayed out til 1am (but probably won’t do that again – and no, I didn’t drink).
I went bowling with other people (which was a bust – but I went).
I’ve had some hard conversations with myself about what I want for me, and for my kids in the future.
I’ve learned that I can only control ME and my thoughts and actions.
I registered for college (maybe summer, definitely fall). Special Education A.A.S Degree.
I talked to a stranger. Yep. This goes on my list of accomplishments.
I’ve learned that I WANT to make my life better for me and my kids. I have a path, a direction, now and I have a little hope for the future.
I know that this will take a ton of work. And like my therapist says, I WILL fail. But I WILL get back up and try again. I will not let failure defeat me. I deserve better and I am going to be better, do better.